Module 10 - Developmental Psychology course - Fall 2019.
November 18th, 2019.
TOPIC:
Dealing with Your Own Death Anxiety
Woody Allen once said, "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." Although some people who are very old and in poor health may welcome death, most of us have difficulty facing it. One of the most important elements of critical thinking is self-knowledge, which includes the ability to critically evaluate our deepest and most private fears.
DEATH ANXIETY QUESTIONNAIRE
To test your own level of death anxiety, indicate your response according to the following scale:
0 1 2
not at all somewhat very much
___1. Do you worry about dying?
___2. Does it bother you that you may die before you have done everything you wanted to do?
___3. Do you worry that you may be very ill for a long time before you die?
___4. Does it upset you to think that others may see you suffering before you die?
___5. Do you worry that dying may be very painful?
___6. Do you worry that the persons closest to you won't be with you when you are dying?
___7. Do you worry that you may be alone when you are dying?
___8. Does the thought bother you that you might lose control of your mind before death?
___9. Do you worry that expenses connected with your death will be a burden to other people?
___10. Does it worry you that your will or instructions about your belongings may not be carried
out after you die?
___11. Are you afraid that you may be buried before you are really dead?
___12. Does the thought of leaving loved ones behind when you die disturb you?
___13. Do you worry that those you care about may not remember you after your death?
___14. Does the thought worry you that with death you may be gone forever?
___15. Are you worried about not knowing what to expect after death?
Source: Conte, H. R., Weiner, M. B., and Plutchik, R. (1982). Measuring death anxiety: Conceptual, psychometric, and factor-analytic aspects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43, 775-785. Reprinted with permission.
----------------higher scores reflect higher levels of anxiety----------------
How does your total score compare to the national average of 8.5? When this same test was given to nursing-home residents, senior citizens, and college students, researchers found no significant differences, despite the fact that those tested ranged in age from 30 to 80.
MY ANSWERS:
___1. Do you worry about dying? 1
___2. Does it bother you that you may die before you have done everything you wanted to do? 1
___3. Do you worry that you may be very ill for a long time before you die? 1
___4. Does it upset you to think others may see you suffering before you die? 1
___5. Do you worry that dying may be very painful? 0
___6. Do you worry that the persons closest to you won’t be with you when you are dying? 0
___7. Do you worry that you may be alone when you are dying? 0
___8. Does the thought bother you that you might lose control of your mind before death? 0
___9. Do you worry that expenses connected with your death will be a burden to other people? 1
___10. Does it worry you that your instructions or will about your belongings may not be carried out after you die? 0
___11. Are you afraid that you may be buried before you are really dead? 0
___12. Does the thought of leaving loved ones behind when you die disturb you? 0
___13. Do you worry that those you care about may not remember you after your death? 0
___14. Does the thought worry you that with death you may be gone forever? 0
___15. Are you worried about not knowing what to expect after death? 1
Score Results:
Fear of the unknown (items 1, 2, 12, 14, and 15): 3
Fear of suffering (items 3, 4, and 5): 2
Fear of loneliness (items 6 and 7): 0
Fear of personal extinction (items 10, 11, and 13): 0
Total score from question 1 to 15: 6/30. This is lower than the average score for most people. This score may be because of my religion and personal background. I am a Buddhist and so is my family. We believe in karma and the life after death. We believe in souls and reincarnation. We believe that after we die, our souls will go somewhere depending on our karma. For example, some souls may go to the hell, heaven, or to an animal, or other living creatures. Death is a new door leading to a new reincarnation. I practice Buddhism and meditation a lot and I think I will not be so scared of my personal extinction after death. If my family and friends will forget me after I die, I would not be so sad because I do not really want them the grief for too long, and attachment like that would make them more depressed. The cost of funeral might bother me. I find out that “the National Funeral Directors Association cited the median out-of-pocket funeral expenses for 2016 — including viewing and cremation costs — at $7,360. On top of that, the average out-of-pocket expenditure for end-of-life necessities is $11,618, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research” (Olya, 2019). I want my funeral to be simple and I also want to be buried under a tree, inside a biodegradable plastic pod which is “an egg-shaped, organic casket that's suitable for ashes or a corpse and can provide nutrients to a tree planted above it” (Erizanu, 2018).
I have been to many funerals of my family members and friends. When I was seven, my older sister passed away, and her passing has changed my point of view about life and death a lot. Six years later, my beloved uncle passed away. Three years later, my aunt and my grandmother passed away in the same year. Nearly a year later, one my best friends passed away. Last year, my mother’s mother passed away. Those funerals showed me that the people who are alive grieve the death, but the death does not grieve the alive. This means that dying before all my family members pass away is not a bad thing because I do not have a chance to grieve the deaths of other members. And even if I die alone, and my beloved people are not around, I would not worry too much because I don’t want them to mourn my death, which is why I answer the question 6 that I will not worry about the closest people who won’t be with me when I’m dying. I have suffered a lot of other people’s deaths, and this makes me think that I do not want other people suffer my death in the future. It takes a lot of time for people to recover and move on. I believe in Buddhism and by practicing it, I won’t be too scared of loneliness. This explains why my score for fear of loneliness is zero.
Thanks to this assignment, I have learned about the cost of funerals in different places. I have learned different perspectives of death and grief from different cultures. In Buddhism, we believe that the only thing we carry with us after death is our own karma. Thus, being able to live fully in every moment when we are alive is very important. This idea is similar to mindfulness and meditation practices. And I also have learned a helpful lesson about how to prepare for death from Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoch - a Buddhist teacher: “Live your life fully. And use every moment, every opportunity, in a way that is beneficial for oneself and for others. If we live every moment the same, in a positive, peaceful, and kind way, then death is also another moment—the same. So there’s no difference. If we’re not living our life in that way, and always preparing for something to come in the future, at the end, then our preparation is a little bit contradictory with what we’re trying to do. How can we expect something positive to happen in one instant, at some point in the future, when we are not living that in every moment” (Holecek, 2019).
References:
Andrew Holecek. (2019, July 19). What Is the Best Way to Prepare for Death? Advice from 8 Buddhist Masters. Retrieved from https://www.andrewholecek.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-prepare-for-death-advice-from-8-buddhist-masters/.
Conte, H. R., Weiner, M. B., and Plutchik, R. (1982). Measuring death anxiety: Conceptual, psychometric, and factor-analytic aspects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43, 775-785.
Erizanu, P. (2018, January 11). Organic burial pod turns your body into a tree. Retrieved from https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/03/world/eco-solutions-capsula-mundi/index.html.
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